Never Split the Difference

Chris Voss

1/5

"I didn't like it"

Review

We negotiate on a daily basis. Practically any time a decision is made amongst more than one person, a negotiation was done— sometimes mentally, or nonverbally. Sometimes, those negotiations are foreknown and prepared for— hopefully the last time you bought a car, you walked in with a plan. If you didn’t, then you definitely know the value of negotiation skills. But often times, we walk into a negotiation drastically underprepared, or unaware it’s even happening— especially in our relationships with others. I believe that negotiation is a skill that can be learned and improved, and I believe this book is helpful for exactly that.

Unfortunately, Never Split the Difference ended up being a lot less practical than I wanted. It was interesting to read some of the stories Chris Voss told from his career as an FBI hostage negotiator, and certainly there’s some practical advice in this book, but overall I was left unimpressed.

I was wondering if this book is just another pop-psych book, but thankfully, Voss clearly states on one page that “this is not another pop-psych book.” Thanks, Chris!

If you’re gunning for a professional negotiator position, definitely read this book! It has some really helpful tips for that level of “official” negotiation. If you’re a high level executive in a business and frequently negotiate with clients, you should probably read this book. And if you don’t fit into those categories, then, well… don’t worry about it. Read a summary if you want.

Ethics

In life, “getting what I want” is a frequently helpful goal, but not always the morally correct one. Especially in personal relationships with friends and family, I think it’s important to be wary of, and avoid, manipulation techniques. The title of the book, “Never Split the Difference”, is only one tactic the author discusses, but it’s already a red flag for empathetic communication. If you choose to employ the strategies in this book, I hope you do so carefully, and in the right context. In one sentence, Voss claims these techniques are “relationship-affirming.” I don’t believe that’s always true.

Takeaways

Notes

Negotiation Tactics